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“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”

-Mahatma Gandhi-

We all want to be happy, Happiness is the feeling of joy, fulfillment, and peace. Why is this so overrated? Does it have to be? A few weeks ago I did a workshop on a subject chosen by a special group of my clients and the subject chosen was happiness! It couldn’t get any better I always wanted to dig deep into this subject of happiness, what people thought would bring them happiness and how important happiness is, and so on. The idea of the workshop was to explore happiness. If you are someone who thinks you will be happy when something happens on someday this blog might be for you.

For one happiness might be driving the latest Bugatti and for another happiness might be having food on the table. We choose what happiness is for us. We create our own definition of happiness. Earlier in the workshop, we gathered that almost all of us have an idea as to what can truly make us happy. Some said they would be happy when they find true love. Some said they would be happy when they find their purpose in life. Some simply believed they will be happy when they have financial abundance. There is nothing wrong with wanting things and having big dreams, but the problem is how we do it.

When you create a thought like I will be happy when……… you skip your self into a totally different vibration. Let me explain this better. When you say something like I will be happy when…. this sounds more like you are not happy now. You have chosen to be happy on a later day as a result of a situation. You have made a decision to be happy later. Let me share a story using a real scenario that happened with one of my clients, I have got his permission to share this story with you because I thought this is really important. Let’s call him Tom. Tom once told me ” I will be happy when I have found my soulmate,” I asked him ” wow nice, how would you know that you will be truly happy when you find her ? he took a few seconds and replied ” You know Nilu, all my life I have been in and out of relationships and I never truly felt belonged. It will be nice to finally meet someone and really connect feel belonged”. I then said ” right, So how would you know that you have found the one when you do? It got him thinking for a bit and then he said ” I will feel accepted, appreciated for who I am and I will feel belonged, when I feel these emotions I know I have met that special person” At this point I had got my answers So did he. Did you notice that Tom didn’t want to have a soul mate, a relationship, or a special person, what he truly wanted was to feel accepted, feel belonged and connected. This is how he defined his happiness. To create this definition of happiness he had used his past experiences, hurt, pain, and trauma as a filter through which he created his definition of happiness. Tom Figured this out straight away, he realised what he truly wanted, and also the fact that he needs to start from within himself. Tom had to make a decision not to let his past trauma define who he is. He needs to accept himself for who he is, appreciate his flaws and differences, and believe that he is worthy of feeling belonged. Tom didn’t want someone to walk into his life and tell him he is accepted, belonged, and appreciated he needed to do this to himself, so he did and since then he had changed his life around and he has never been happier.

That is not just Tom’s story so many of us go through life using our past experiences, childhood trauma, heartache, and pain as a filter in which we screen our future. What we think we want is not what we really want, what we really want is to heal, accept us for who we are and believe in us enough to think we are worthy of our dreams. When we don’t heal from our past trauma not only they haunt our future we also tend to hurt others. Healing is a big part of the journey of happiness.

The moment we make the decision to accept our selves we don’t want anyone else to do this for us, The moment we choose to trust in our power we skip into a totally different vibration. The moment you make the decision to be happy now, more and more people and situations will roll into your life to elevate this feeling you already have. Anything that comes from outside will be the icing of the cake which you have baked.

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

Goals, life expectations beyond your wildest dreams are so important to drive us forward in our life. There is nothing wrong in wishing upon stars and having big goals in life but don’t wait for it all to work out to be happy. Happiness is not a destination or an end result. Happiness is in the baby steps you take towards your dreams. If you don’t enjoy the ride what guarantee is there to say you will enjoy the destination. Don’t hand in your power to someone or a future event to control your emotions. Claim your power back and choose your emotions because they cerate your behavior and your behavior creates your life.

If you want to be loved, love your self first. If you want a certain job believe in your self first, so someone else can put their trust in you. If you want something in life allow your self to believe you are worthy of it because what happens is part of us want something while another part whispers a mantra saying you are not worthy of it.

Life won’t take you in a straight line to where you would like to be. It is going to be a maize of all shapes and sizes, and it’s the journey that matters and never the destination. Happiness is in the small steps you take. To be happy is a decision you make.

love

Nilu

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